Destination weddings are a
splendid affair! They are especially delightful if it’s an Indian wedding
featuring best friends, childhood pals, crazy cousins and the ever so amazing
family near and far. A wedding undoubtedly stands as one of the top events in
the lifespan of the couple.
The couple and their family is
bound to pour their heart out into ensuring all their guests have a beyond pleasant
experience. For some people destination weddings are a welcome opportunity to
travel and celebrate with their nearest and dearest. For others, they're an
expensive and painful obligation. Whichever boot fits you, it's your job to
follow destination wedding etiquette and be the best guest you can be. If you
find yourself on the guest list for an upcoming destination wedding, you might
want to read on to ensure you are a dream guest & ensure the wedding is a
smooth sailing affair for the families & you!
#1 Destination
weddings are much more logistically complicated than traditional weddings.
Couples commonly block off availability for wedding guests at a hotel. It is good manners to RSVP to all social event
invitations within 24 to 48 hours, especially weddings. At the very least, try
to respond within the time stated on the invitation to avoid an awkward call
from the bride/groom or their families following up. Destination wedding
etiquette requires you to go only if you really want to. If you feel like
attending will be a major strain on your finances or an annoying ordeal, you
can politely decline. If you confirm, you better show up. Failing to attend a regular wedding is a faux
pas, but you can definitely get away with it. At worst, you've left the couple
with an empty seat and an uneaten plate of chicken. Backing out of a
destination wedding, however, is a serious breach of etiquette. You're costing
the bride and groom space on a limited guest list, room reservations and a
pricey resort dinner.
#2 At most a
destination wedding, the couple is paying for the wedding ceremony, reception
& a meal or two which will definitely be specified. Factor in the costs for
travel, accommodations, meals, adult beverages, excursions, & incidentals
before confirming your attendance. Book your airfare, hotel well in advance,
waiting until the 11th hour will cost you big. Destination weddings
are expensive. You should approach planning this trip like you would any other
vacation.
#3 Comfort first.
Always throw in comfortable clothes & footwear to accommodate an after
party. For events that require you done ethnic wear, carry outfits that require
minimal draping. Ditch the saree unless you are a pro at draping it yourself
& pulling it off without having to dread slip ups. Moreover sore feet
should in no way be an obstacle to ditch the party. You’ve taken the time to
travel and celebrate a momentous occasion of your loved one. Participate in the
wedding activities and make the most of your trip.
#4 Respect the Venue.
The couple and their families usually spend a huge chunk on the wedding. The
least you can do is be respectful of the venue & ensure nothing you do
damages the property. This means the charge is debited to the families & is
an unnecessary cost incurred. If you’re attending an international wedding,
keep in mind the laws and etiquette of the country.
#5 When gifting, the
best way to present it is to arrange for a delivery to their home. Buy a gift
that matches the relationship: You will spend more on your brother than on your
distant neighbor. It'd also be nice to make a monetary gesture if the
newlyweds are seeking funding for a down payment or other large purchases, but
always stay within your financial constraints. If the couple has a wedding
registry set up, Use it!! That is definitely your saving grace.
#6 Respect privacy. Check
with the bride beforehand to see if it’s okay to post images on social media. It’s
poor form to tweet or live-stream the ceremony or reception, because you are
sharing private moments with thousands of people who were not invited. The
bride and groom may want to be the ones posting. And, since wedding hash tags are
a serious matter these days, there’s even a business creating custom ones for
couples. It’s always best to double-check that you're using the right one in
your updates.
#7 Don’t mock the
toast-makers, let your phone blare, or use your camera flash to interrupt
special moments. Find time to congratulate the couple personally, and mingle
away; don’t spend the entire night glued to your phone or the bar. Celebrate
with the ones you love & dwell in the moment to make new friends in a cool
destination.
#8 Always stay hydrated during the hectic pre-wedding functions,
especially during the events that take place during the day. Pace yourself
while drinking alcohol. Drinking late into the night might require a second thought;
you will end up with a hangdog expression, bloodshot eyes and not the best of
skin. Save the binge drinking for the last day of the celebration!
#9 Make the best out
of unexpected scenarios & be supportive. An unexpected downpour, or a medical
emergency or anything alike. Such scenarios are unexpected & unaccounted
for. Extend your support wherever possible. If it’s a vagary of nature &
not life threatening be a sport & stick around
.
#10 If you linger a few days
longer after the wedding, be sure to give the bride and groom some space.
They're on their honeymoon now, and they'll want a little time to reconnect
after the stress of planning a wedding.
#FAQ
Is it OK to stay elsewhere if the hotel the couple chose is above my
budget?
Most couples try and
book an alternative hotel if the main property is particularly expensive, but
not everyone does. It isn’t rude for you to stay at another location if the
main property is above your budget, However it is crucial to communicate the
same to the couple in advance, as the couple hotel holds a minimum guarantee of
rooms & have to pay for regardless of the occupancy. If you do decide to
stay elsewhere, be sure that you will have access to the hotel, beyond just the
time window for the wedding. If it’s an all-inclusive resort, you might not be
allowed to visit friends by the pool for the afternoon.
If the couple has a weekend itinerary planned, is it OK to stray from
the activities as long as I attend the main event?
Totally. If you
weren’t required to RSVP to something, then it is definitely not mandatory.
However, if they are doing a group kayaking trip the day before the ceremony
and you RSVP’d yes to the event on their website , then don’t show up that
would be considered inconsiderate.
Is it acceptable to cut the trip short, for budget purposes?
As long as you don’t
miss the main event, you aren’t required to stay for any particular amount of
time. But you should let the couple know well in advance what you will and
won’t be attending.
